 |
| EPA Approved! |
Last week while in Pennsylvania we found a nice riding lawn mower for Ben at an estate sale. His new house is on about an acre of land, so a riding mower was more of a necessity than a luxury. The mower needed a new battery, but once that was replaced it fired up and worked well. One other thing we needed was a gas can. No problem there, a trip to Wal-Mart was on the agenda. I'd pick one up and he would be good to go.
 |
| A portion of Ben's extra large backyard |
As I approached the gas can area in the store, I should have been suspicious of the "Financing Available" sign posted nearby. Secondly, while it still sorta looked like a gas can, it didn't have a simple nozzle to move the gas from the can to the lawn mower. There was now some kind of contraption with a green tab to push down with your thumb and something else lighter green in color to push down with the palm of the same hand. Thankfully, attached to the can was a five step detailed instruction guide on how to properly use this mechanical marvel. It's been a while since it was conferred on me, but I have a masters degree, I figured I could handle it.
I purchased the can without having to finance it. If I had paid with twenty dollars cash instead of on a credit card I would have been left with just about enough change to buy one item off the McDonalds Dollar Menu. I was now the proud owner of a super deluxe, environmentally friendly, EPA approved gas can!
I figured out by trial and error how to remove the fancy contraption so I could put gas into our new purchase. Once back at Ben's house the fun really began. Being a red blooded male, I saw no need to read the five step instruction guide. After three or four failed attempts to dispense gas into the mower, I figured reading the five step instructions might not be a bad idea. I read them diligently and I tried to comply. The result, not a drop of gas in the mower. I re-read them and tried again with the same results. I did it again and again with no luck whatsoever. I guess not just any old masters degree will do to operate an environmentally friendly, EPA approved gas can. Maybe a mechanical engineering degree is required. I had now spent the better part of fifteen minutes wrestling with this piece of plastic and I was losing badly. I began to rationalize that it wasn't my lack of intelligence or mechanical ability that was the issue, surely the can was defective.
At that point I did what I should have done in the beginning. I took the fancy nozzle off and poured the gas directly from the can into the lawn mower. Most of it successfully landed in the mowers gas tank but there was a small puddle of gas that collected on the driveway under the mower.
The end result of this little adventure. I had paid twice as much for a gas can as I should have paid because it had to meet the EPA standards set forth by a bunch of yahoos up in Washington. Due to either user ignorance or a mechanical defect (I'm going with mechanical defect), I had spilled twice as much gas as I would have if the can had just had a simple nozzle like the cans of the "good old days".
Don't get me wrong, I'm all about protecting the environment. Although I've never handcuffed myself to a tree, we have owned a hybrid car since 2005, which was way before owning a hybrid was cool. I've also been known to regularly go through the household trash to make sure that nothing that should be recycled was about to go out with the regular trash. But I couldn't help but smile at that little puddle of gas laying on the drive way and feeling somewhat vindicated by the frustration caused by an overpriced, environmentally friendly, EPA approved gas can.
Ben is well versed in how to remove the fancy nozzle so he can pour the gas directly into his mower. I hope he doesn't spill too much gas and wreck the environment! If he does, I'm sure Washington will design a "new and improved", even more environmentally friendly EPA approved gas can......for a small fee!
