The Traveling Idiots-Where The Tuck Are They Now?: Crossing the Border........

Israel's border security is about as tight as possible. They have good reasons for it to be that way. I have no arguments with them or any other country protecting their borders. We were told that it could take up to three hours to cross the border into Jordan and another three hours when we returned to Israel. Since the two countries do not completely trust each other they both have their own processes. It ends up looking somewhat like a dysfunctional dance of redundant bureaucracy. What makes this even more of a head scratcher is that while they're not best buddies, they are on somewhat friendly terms. I can only imagine what it would be like if they really didn't like each other.
There are exit checkpoints on both borders, followed by short rides to the entry check point for which ever country you are entering. There are questions on both sides about what you're doing, where are you going, where have you been, how long will you be there, etc., etc., etc., The questions are fired at you by rather serious looking men and women in rapid succession. Bags have to be unloaded and reloaded on different buses because neither country allows the other countries buses to enter their country.  Everything is x-rayed and then rex-rayed. There is a lot of down time which at least gives you time to get to know your fellow traveler. Hopefully you get the picture!
It took about two hours to complete the whole process leaving Israel and entering Jordan.  The time on the return was a little less for everyone in our group but me. I was detained for additional screening as I was reentering Israel.
I don't think I'm on anybody's terrorist watch list. If I am they really need to reevaluate their data source.  The issue was that because of my pacemaker I couldn't go through the standard metal detector.  It happens all the time and usually it's just a quick pat down by some guy who really doesn't want to touch me and then I'm on my way. I've actually gotten to where I grade the thoroughness of these pat downs. The TSA guys at the US airports usually do pretty good, probably around an 8 out of 10. Security guys at foreign airports score a little higher. Cruise ship security rarely scores above a 4.  Stadium/Venue security.........I think I could sometimes sneak in an F-16 fighter jet behind my back.
Jordanian security was very impressive coming and going. Israeli security was impressive on the way out and then there was getting back in that the adventure started.  With the nicest American smile I could muster I said "I have a pacemaker" and gently tapped myself on the left side of my upper chest which seems to be the universal signal for "I have a pacemaker".
My nice American smile was met with a very serious frown from an Israeli border security agent that couldn't have been any older than Ben or Sarah. I was pulled out of line and told to "wait here". I complied thinking the pat down would be coming quickly and I'd be on my way to reconnect with Beth and my bag which is now slightly radioactive because of the number of times it has been x-rayed in the last couple of days.
I waited, waited a little longer and then a little bit more. Everyone in our group was clearing security. We had already been warned that if you were detained for additional screening the bus wouldn't wait (we were given a process for getting back to Jerusalem but I really didn't want to use it). Finally after about 15 minutes a less than friendly guy said "come with me". I was taken to a private screening room (no big deal, but I didn't ask for it). I was asked if I was carrying a gun or knife. I guess I could have been but I was in shorts and a tee shirt so there weren't many hiding places. The pat down started with my upper body. No problems and the guy is scoring a 10+ for thoroughness. Then he said "drop your shorts to below your knees". Now that's a new one! My first thought was by shorts does he mean "shorts" or "shorts and underwear".  Thinking that too little would be better than too much I went with just the shorts. Thankfully I guessed right but it wasn't quite over yet. He made sure there were no weapons of mass destruction hidden in the waist line of my shorts, underwear or between my legs to the point that I started thinking  "I sure hope he doesn't try to verify I have a pacemaker way up here from where he is way down there". Finally he said "you can pull your pants back up". The hallelujah chorus started playing in my head and those shorts were up in world record time.
Gruffly he returned my recently x-rayed shoes and without so much as a "thank you" simply said, "you can go". Needless to say I went and I went at a pretty rapid pace. I wanted to get out of there before he changed his mind or before Beth busted back through security in an attempt to rescue me.
As a kid Mom always said to make sure I had on clean underwear in case I was in an accident and had to go to the hospital.  The world has change a lot since then. I guess there are a lot more reasons now why it's important to wear clean underwear.......................crossing the border back into Israel can be added to the list!

A few more pictures from Israel and Jordan as we close the book on this adventure